Enjoying Downtime Without Guilt or Shame
I'm Praying Hard This Spaghetti Squash Comes Out Good
I’m trying to make spaghetti squash. I tried watching Conclave. I’m waiting for some chips to arrive because someone finished the bag I got yesterday. I’m reading articles and have time to brainstorm my pedi colors for this weekend.
I’ve got something I haven’t enjoyed in 2 years, possibly longer…time without stress, guilt, or shame.
I’m in between seasons. I’m waiting for the new quarter of grad school to begin. I’m waiting for my replacement at work to get hired. I’m waiting for the retrograde and eclipse seasons to end.
I’m slowly liberating myself for the toxic identity of hustler and learning to embrace the new brand of me.
I used to think about what it would be like to have more ease when I should have been dreaming about what I would be like when I give myself permission to be at ease.
I still have laundry to do. I still have a mess to clean. I’m nowhere near perfect when it comes to daily routines or managing my tasks at work. But I am no longer in a constant loop of flux. I am embodying a transition towards realized progress.
It’s one thing to know you’re where you need to be. It’s another to feel like you’re not competing with unrealstic expectations.
I might give myself time to daydream with my new playlist. I might even peruse apartment therapy to get some ideas. Eventually I will develop my digital offerings so I can resume the business from a place of intentionality instead of desperation.
And maybe this season of calm is short lived but at least it’s an opportunity to live a new way of being.