Platonically in Love

I Am Practicing With You

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

I am practicing with you and on the days I’m self aware enough, I don’t feel so defeated and alone. I know you are not reciprocal because you don’t have the depth to match my devotion. And that’s ok.

I am only practicing so that I can remind myself the extent of my love capacity.

I am practicing with you and on the days that I forget you don’t share the same connection, I am challenged to explore the ways I feel inadequate. As if my worth was determined by someone who doesn’t value my presence at market value. 

I am practicing with you to heal the wounds that were born of neglect and abandonment because my unconscious self recognizes you in a way that my healed self does not want to admit.

I am practicing with you so I can break free from the notion that I am unloveable despite your rejection proving me wrong. Some days I feel the distance and other days I feel the fake intimacy because I want to, against my own best judgement.

I am practicing with you until you no longer have the capacity to stand tall on the pedestal I created in my head because I don’t want to imagine a life where I looking for a statue that doesn’t exist.