Raising Your Standards
So Much Can Change if You Surrender Expectations
I don't know what was going last summer. I just knew I needed a change and lacked the clarity for how that would present itself.
I needed to stop freelancing because it was suffocating me and I was self-destructive enough to let it consume me. I had done breaks and a hiatus before but this felt like the finality of a long unresolved chapter in my entrepreneurial journey.
I leveraged my obsessive nature to find a job and was able to score 4 employment offers within a month.
I chose street outreach because the hours would have allowed me to continue freelancing and it required minimal mental energy. I was in a car for hours with a partner and we'd drive around asking people if they needed support.
I didn't want to be in an office and I wanted to not think. The salary was exploitative and the expectation that we had to pay into health care at such a ridiculous pay made me reconsider one of the other offers.
That is how I ended up in the Bronx, working with young adults. I didn't know if I would resonate with the kids and the location made me second all of my life choices. I got cat called by a gentleman in his 80s and was pushed twice on and off the 4 train by someone with a wooden stool.
Every day I walked to work was spent asking myself the same question "why am I here?"
I discovered a passion for working with young adults in a teaching environment. I facilitated classes and leveraged my expertise in coaching to create a holistic learning experience that instantly resonated with the kids.
After three months of chaotic leadership and a toxic work environment, I upgraded to another position at a nearby transfer high school. I spent 6 months getting challenged and doubling down on my new professional path.
Never did I imagine that my free spirited whimsical ass would crave a full time job with teenagers, and yet here I am.
I am officially in a Master program that starts this Monday and it's an MS in Education, quite the departure from the MBA and MSW that everyone thought I would pursue.
I am specializing in Instructional Design and Education Technology which brings together over 15 years of brand strategy experience into a cohesive full circle moment of vocational purpose.
There are moments where clarity comes in like a kaleidoscope, messy and blurry while also imperfectly beautiful.
I am now tasked with helping to elevate the standards of my students while also doing the same for myself. Whether we consciously choose to, life is about leading by example.
How often do you walk the walk for yourself?
What are your standards and how do you elevate the expectations you have for yourself?
When I surrendered my expectations, it was from the perspective of trying to control how I expect my vision to manifest itself.
Once I let go of the how, the path became clear but it required unconditional trust that I was going where I needed to be.
It's been a year since I embarked on this rabbit hole and life can shift that quickly if you allow it to position you where you're needed the most.
In six months, I took on a job and developed a program from scratch with minimal support and inconsistent supervision. I was able to leverage that into a promotion and pay raise. Imagine my surprise when everything came together within an hour of each other.
Standards become the norm when we commit to operating within them. They're only unrealistic until you make them real.
What are the standards you need to set for yourself?
What changes and decisions can you make today that will show up in a big way 6-12 months later?
I don't celebrate the 4th of July but I'll the take the day to reflect on what it means for me to thrive on my own terms. How that looks will change depending on where you are.
Maybe we connected years ago when you were rocking this hustle and now you're ready for financial consistency and ease. Maybe you were in a steady job and now you want to be nomadic with your passion.
Standards are created by you and no one else. You are the only one who gets to walk in your shoes. Other people can have opinions but they don't have to live with the consequences of your decisions in the same way as you do.
Here's to hoping I can continue sharing my insights and expertise with students who need to unlearn the bullshit they were conditioned to believe about who they thought they needed to be in order to feel worthy.