Self-Inflicted Heartbreak
I Don't Want to Quit You. I Want to Quit Myself.
I want to tell you no even when I know it goes against my best interest to say yes.
I want to forget about how you make me feel even when I know it might be the only time I feel alive.
I want to walk away with my dignity intact even when I don’t care about my well-being.
I want to remember what it was like to feel nothing even as I light up with the thought of who you might be to me.
There’s so many things you make me want but nothing comes close to the moments we share when I feel like it’s our last time to connect.
My poetry has grown up but the self-inflicted heartbreaks are embedded in my DNA.
Patterns are hard to break when we are more invested in keeping them than transforming them.
Every time I look at you I break my own spirit into a kaleidoscope.
I don’t want to quit you. I want to quit myself because you represent all of the men that come to me.
Maybe that’s why I feel like Medusa - misunderstood but still repelling those who dare to venture too close.